Time to let the cat out of the bag!

Well dear readers, it has been a VERY LONG time since I have updated but it's been with good reason.  A lot of things have changed since I first began this blog and I'm happy to say that most of them have been for the best.

As some of you who "know" me from TB might already know, J and I are expecting our first baby on March 10, 2012!!  We are beyond excited that we're finally here after so many tears and so much pain.  We decided to move forward with IUI this summer and we are extremely grateful that our first attempt worked.  Baby is 15W2D at this point and so far, everything has been great with this pregnancy.  Save for this week, I've been feeling pretty great and can't even complain about having any real morning sickness.

Aside from these wonderful news, I can say that I am working again.  I interviewed with a school that had offered me a position last year and they offered me another position this summer.  This was actually the school that I turned down for Dream School in case anyone remembers.  So far it's going OK.  The school is actually pretty great and much (SO MUCH) different than First School but I'm sad to report that I'm still not happy.  I'm coming to terms with the fact that teaching is just not for me.  I don't enjoy it and unfortunately, it's become all about the pay for me.  I can honestly say that my feelings toward teaching have nothing to do with my pregnancy.  It's not like I'm too tired or too sick, I just don't like it.

I feel that I've finally come to terms with the reason why I felt that I needed to go back even though I was never 100% happy.  When I was let go from First School, I felt that I was in a horrible environment and I was happy to see my time there come to an end.  My principal was a first-class bitch and she just made teaching a horrible experience.  Then I moved on to Dream School but as we all know, I lasted a month before I was laid off.  Although being at Dream School for such a short time did help me keep a positive image, going through all the disappointment of a layoff was hard to take.  Now that I'm at Last School there really should be no reason why I'm so unhappy, but here we are.  I think that with my last two experiences ending for reasons beyond my control, I felt like I wasn't "done" with teaching.  I felt that I still had more to do and that if maybe I landed at the "right" school, my feelings would change.  Unfortunately, my negative feelings haven't changed.  They are more deeper and much more clear than they have ever been.  J and I have pretty much decided that I will not be returning after Baby C makes her/his grand entrance and I honestly think that I'll finally be able to find some peace.

Thank you for being so patient with me during this time!  I hope that everyone of you is doing well...