Passive Aggressive Much?!

You know, I've always been pretty direct, but this baby journey is making a passive-aggressive bitch out of me! I think I hold back out of fear of being seen as bitter or jealous, but I have to find a way to cope. Case in point, my friend S has been stalking me. Yuck, I'm glad she doesn't really use email/Facebook, because then she'd be cyber-stalking me as well.

This is the thing, S is really cool, but she's also annoying and needy. I felt like this WAY before my TTC bitterness, and thus, I hung out with her sparingly. I felt that she would suck all of my energy because I can only give you the same advice so many times. So shitty guy after shitty guy, my advice was the same, "Value yourself," "You deserve to be treated better," "Get to know him before you give so much of yourself," blah, blah, blah. Well, now she's gone ahead and really done it, not only getting married to the latest loser BUT managing to get knocked up as well. This guy would be nice, except that he's full of excuses and treats her like shit. I'm sick handing out advice, and futhermore, I'm sick of pretending like this fucked up situation was an accident that couldn't have been avoided. More than anything, I'm pissed that she felt the right/need to tell me that J and I not getting pregnant is because it's not our turn and that it will happen when it's supposed to. While, intrinsically I know that we'll get pregnant and have our baby when it's supposed to happen, who in the world is she to determine that considering her emotional/financial situation?! I'm sure if I would've thrown it in her face that her husband is an asshole and that she's on Public Aid, it would've made me an insensitive bitch. If any of my other friends would've made a similar comment to me, it wouldn't have hurt my feelings because they're all stable in most, if not all aspects of their life.

I know me, and I know I won't recover from this well because I'm very pissed. The only difference is that before TTC I would've said something, but if say something now, it'll be interpreted as me being bitter. So, I guess I'll continue to avoid until I can come up with a nicer way of saying it. I could be the bigger person, and just be nice right off the bat, but no, I'm tired of being the bigger person all the time. If people are so brainless or just plain insensitive where they can dish it, then they should be able to take it.